Every Planet We Reach Is Dead
by Gorillaz720
Summary: Murdoc is trying to sell Noodle's monkey Mike on EBay.


**Every Planet We Reach Is Dead**

…_Picture I'm a dreamer,_

_I'll take you deeper,_

_Down to the sleepy glow…_

…_Time is a low, don't you know?_

_What are we going to do…?_

**Chapter One**

…"_2D don't need this no more!"…_

It was early morning, around about the time, when the sun's just coming up, deciding to shed its rays on the earth once more.

Murdoc Nicalls was already wide awake, tapping away at his lap-top's keyboard.

"Okay, so 2D's old shoes made it to EBay…" He muttered. "2D's stupid little pot?"

He walked across the basement car-park and into 2D's room.

"Check." He smiled.

He walked back too his lap-top.

"Ah, they finally gave in regarding the land-fill balcony. Good."

**Chapter Two**

…_Mike the monkey strikes back…_

"Mornin', Russell," 2D said as he walked into the kitchen.

Russell turned his head and looked over his shoulder.

"Oh. Hey, kid." Russell said, returning the greeting.

Russell downed the last of his coffee and took his mug over to the kitchen sink.

"So," he began. "How'd you like that recording session last night?" He asked.

2D shrugged.

"I dunno." 2D replied. "It was alright, I guess."

Russell walked around the dining table to place his mug back into the cupboard, when he spied an empty beer can, lying on the floor.

_Ah, shit!_ He thought. _How many times do I have to tell Noodle, "Don't let your guard down on Mike!"?_

Mike was Noodle's monkey. It is unknown where he came from, as 2D and Noodle just came home with him one day, but he is believed to have been a circus monkey at one stage, or at least something similar.

The only way you could find him again, was if he was stupid enough to dip its feet in a can of paint, an act which he did quite regularly. A pretty stupid thing to do, really. (Although, you'd think he would learn from his mistakes eventually. Obviously not.)

**Chapter Three**

…_On the third day of Christmas…_

Noodle woke up, her face beaded with sweat. She'd had another nightmare.

…_Falling down, landing on a floating island with a windmill. Helicopters fly up and trash the island. Island crashes, Noodle dies._

Not pleasant.

It was at that precise moment that 2D walked into the room.

"Hey, kid." He greeted. "How's it going?"

Noodle shivered. "Not too good, I'm afraid." Noodle replied.

"What happened?" 2D asked. "Did you have another one of those El Mañana dreams again?"

Noodle nodded. "Yeah…" She sighed.

Noodle looked scared shitless, so 2D decided to change the subject.

"Russell saw another beer can on the floor in the kitchen. You lost Mike again, didn't you?" 2D accused.

Noodle shook her head. "No I didn't." She said, pointing over to a large cage in a corner of her room.

In it, was Mike.

_Wait a minute…_ 2D thought. _If Mike was in here… Russell's stopped drinking, I only drink sparingly, and even _then_ I clean up after myself. Noodle certainly doesn't drink… That only leaves–_

"Murdoc." He said aloud.

**Chapter Four**

…_Questions and answers…_

"Oi, you piece of shit!" 2D yelled as he walked into the basement car-park.

Murdoc looked over his shoulder. "Hi, 2D. What are _you_ doing down here?" He asked.

"You know _exactly_ what I'm doing down here." 2D replied.

"I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about." Murdoc pretended.

"Oh, please. Don't give me that shit!" 2D shouted. "I know what you're trying to do."

"_Really_?" Murdoc asked.

"Framing Mike for something _you_ did." 2D accused.

Murdoc shrugged. "I haven't the _faintest_ idea what you're talking about." He said through gritted teeth.

"You're trying to get rid of Mike, aren't you?"

It was at that moment that 2D saw Murdoc's lap-top.

"EBay!!?" He fumed. "You're trying to _sell _him!!?"

"You have _no_ idea." Murdoc replied.

**Chapter Five**

…_Never say never…_

"One… two… three… four… five… s-ix… se-ven… _eight_…" Russell was doing chin-ups. He was working out regularly now. He wasn't getting any thinner.

"_Nine… ten… el-e-ven… _twelve!" Russell let go of the bar and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"I see exercise. Good job, Russell san." Noodle said, suddenly "appearing" in the room. She did that quite a lot these days. (She doesn't actually "appear", she's just very quiet and good at not being noticed.)

"Oh, hey, Noodle." Russell said. "How long have you been standing there?" He asked.

"Since you started." Noodle answered. "Are you finished?" She asked.

"Yeah," Russell replied. "For today, anyway."

"That beer can you saw," Noodle said, changing the subject. "It wasn't Mike's."

"Oh. Really?" Russell asked, changing his shirt.

"Uh huh. It was Murdoc's." Noodle informed.

"_Murdoc's_ huh…?"

**Chapter Six**

…_Road Trip!…_

It was two days after 2D had uncovered Murdoc's plot to sell Mike.

Murdoc was hoping that 2D hadn't told anyone.

In fact, 2D had told one person. Russell.

"_What!?" _Russell had replied in shock.

"_Yeah, that's what _I_ thought. I mean, Noodle loves that monkey to bits."_

2D hadn't told Noodle, of _that_ he was sure. If he had, Murdoc would've _known_ by now.

Murdoc approached Russell, pushing Noodle along in front of him.

Russell glared, but Murdoc didn't say anything.

"See?" He said. "_There_ he is!"

"What do you want?" Russell asked, every tone in his voice accusing.

Murdoc didn't reply, instead, he continued talking to Noodle.

"_Didn't Russell _promise_ you that he'd take you and 2D out somewhere?"_ He said, looking at Russell.

"Oh. Fine. Come on then." Russell said, taking Noodle by the arm. "Let's get out of here."

As Russell turned his back, Murdoc smiled deviously. Everything was going according to plan.

**Chapter Seven**

…_The escapee…_

"Okay, you little runt." Murdoc said aloud, as he approached Mike's cage. "After this, I won't have to deal with you, once and for all!"

Mike cocked his head to the side.

"Ooh… Eep whoop ah." (Roughly translated from monkey, this means: "Whoa, Noodle was right. You _are _nuts." Or: "What a schmuck.")

Murdoc scowled. "Why you little…"

As he opened the cage door, Mike's muscles tensed, ready to spring… Just a little further…

"Gotcha!" Murdoc yelled, as Mike jumped over his head, and out the door.

"Oh dear." Murdoc thought aloud. "I _think_ we have a problem…"

**Chapter Eight**

…_Plotting and planning…_

"I don't like the idea of leaving Mike alone, with Murdoc still in the studios." 2D whispered to Russell, as they walked through the streets of Sussex.

"Nah, Mike'll be fine. He's _way_ quicker than Murdoc. He can take care of himself." Russell replied.

"Yeah, I guess… But still – It's a bad idea to – Noodle, hold my hand."

They crossed the street and the conversation was cut short.

"Can we go to the museum?" Noodle asked, squeezing 2D's hand slightly.

"_Pardon?"_ 2D asked.

"Can we go to the museum, _please_?" Noodle asked again, the look in her eyes imploring.

2D looked over at Russell.

Russell nodded his head.

"_Let her."_ He mouthed.

"_O_-kay." 2D allowed.

**Chapter Nine**

_...What's a piñata?..._

"Argh! You're so frustrating! Your new owner is either going to get a free cage, or a disemboweled monkey!" Murdoc shouted. "Get back here, you furry piñata!"

"Eeooh! Oop wah chi-oop!" ("Catch me if you can! You petty excuse for a human being!")

"Oh, don't you worry. I'll catch you soon enough!" Murdoc yelled shaking his fist.

"Oh-ap jib jib!" ("Over my dead body!") With this, Mike raced off, leaving Murdoc far behind, panting like a dog, trying to get his breath back.

_Ooh, that monkey is going to _get_ it!_ Murdoc thought.

**Chapter Ten**

_...El Mañana..._

(Part One)

_...Summer don't know me no more,_

_He got mad, tiresome._

_Summer don't know me, he just left me low, in myself..._

"What's this?" Noodle asked 2D as they walked through an exhibit on ancient Rome.

"That's the Coliseum." 2D replied. "They used to have warriors called 'Gladiators' that fought in the arena."

Noodle nodded her head. "Ah, I didn't know that." She said. "What happened then?" She asked.

"They used to fight to the death. As in they used to kill each other." 2D explained.

**Chapter Eleven**

_...Hide and seek..._

2 B. Cont.


End file.
